'Heartbeat' by Wang Leehom

想跟我吵架 我沒那麼無聊
不懂得道歉 我沒那麼聰明
好想要回到我們的原點

你又在哭泣 我給不了安慰
我又在搖頭 有那麼點後悔
愛情的發展已難以回頭
卻無法往前走

但身不由己出現在胸口
兩顆心能塞幾個問號
愛讓我們流多少眼淚

你的眼神 充滿美麗 帶走我的心跳
你的溫柔 如此靠近 帶走我的心跳
逆轉時光 到一開始 能不能給一秒
等著哪一天你也想起
那懸在記憶中的美好

想跟我吵架 我沒那麼無聊
不懂得道歉 我沒那麼聰明
好想要回到我們的原點

但身不由己出現在胸口
兩顆心能塞幾個問號
愛讓我們流多少眼淚

你的眼神 充滿美麗 帶走我的心跳
你的溫柔 如此靠近 帶走我的心跳
逆轉時光 到一開始 能不能給一秒
等著哪一天你也想起
那懸在記憶中的美好

你的眼神 充滿美麗 帶走我的心跳
你的溫柔 如此靠近 帶走我的心跳
逆轉時光 到一開始 能不能給一秒
等著哪一天你也想起
那懸在記憶中 的美好
(http://asukaworld.blogspot.com/, 11 December 2008)

Hey, it's a new album of Wang LeeHom and this is the album's same name hits, check it out!

Something about Me, Something about Gay and Something about Love VI

Disclaimer: All Rights Reserved, avoid further reading if HOMOPHOBIC. Emphasis that there might have contents not suited for the eyes of 21 and below. The events depicted in this blog entry is fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.

As previously, we stopped at

A little introduction about this guy Benji: He is the kind of everyday guy whom you see on the streets, not eye-catching at all, neither is he the kind of people's guy. It is very easy to missed him, if you don't even know him. His presence is like a breeze, for a moment you may mark him around, the next moment you may have forgotten about him being around. He don't socialize as much, neither does he the kind of guy who you would like to socialize with. If you have slightly more fate with him, you may ended up with him speaking of more then enough conversation in your whole life, if not, you wouldn't even bother but to just sustain a few 'hi's and 'have a great day'. A workaholic that doesn't really have the kind of measures as to what he can expect before things happen, but he sure is one big fan of determination and endurance.

This was the kind of guy I was with back then. This guy was very enthusiastic about me right from the start, and one of the reason that I wasn't really into him is that he is one of my pioneer friend's god brother and my friend is Jerald. A few more other implications such as he initially gave a lot of good impression that I really think doesn't last long, for instance, being so tolerable, and caring, etc. I mean, you will only care the person who mean whole lot of things to you and because you love him, so you do this for him, but later on in life, this "thing" that he upheld for you would only tire him off and give up on you, slowly by slowly, bits by bits.

He is a (seriously speaking from what I feel) "no life" person. He usually doesn't have much friends, and would wish to be with me almost 24/7 and ask of me to SMS him day-in day-out. And the way he loves are just disastrous, he loves with so much passion, that if he doesn't have passion anymore for the person, he will leave. This was the kind of guy I was with for two long years by the way. The initial flight was not good at all, mainly I was the contributor I believe. I wasn't into love and I was way more practical then now. He usually would be more enthusiastic than me when it comes to Valentines day and Birthdays and Christmases.

And I, on the other hand, I would be more concern with my Family: Anson, Shahul, Irwan, Lloyd, Derek, just to name a few. That is also in my terms by the way, that I would show more concern and care for my friends and Family compared to him, mainly because he is only satisfying one part of my life, and these other components are satisfying other parts of my life that affects me more than he do. I understood this from what I feel I do: Love would only leave a person heart broken, but friends and families are their to mend it with there presence and position; Love demand resources, but friends and families request for resources; Love is selfish, but friends and families are generous.

And so I was. And a tragedy was slowly growing ever since the night of my attachment, awaiting to explode one day. How? Why? Where shall I start? Okay, here it goes. I was deeply attracted to for a guy called Elvis. Who found to be deeply fond of me and be ever-so unconditional to love me and wants to be with me only to be found out after I was just attached the very day. He came to me, telling me how much he regretted not to voice out and let me know even before I was attached and still wished to have the chance of loving me, taking care of me. How about this? A little triangle relationship eh?

I was indecisive and loss, someone that just got to know me of less then two weeks or so and yet fell deeply for me so much so that even after knowing that I was attached still wished for my hands. On one thought, he is so unlike Benji, he is somewhat similar to me, so socialite and involved, emotional and passionate (just that I learned my limits), a very love-creature and knows how to handle situations and people. But on the other hand, he is also very similar to me on other ways, such as domineering if I have to, and persuasive if needed. And as I would also look into Astrology for guidance, it is a known fact that two Leos are hard to last. I am one, and unfortunately, Elvis is too.

To prevent hurting Elvis too hard, I being an indecisive and draggy person, choose to let Elvis stayed by my side as a friend whom loved me. Be around me just as I shower my attention to my friends, and hopefully Elvis finds someone he loved more then me, and that will be the time I give him my blessing and stays as just merely a normal friend and nothing more. Elvis and Benji each are battling for my attention and usually, Elvis would be the one to lose out, since Benji is my boyfriend in official. Elvis as of my character, tolerates and gives in. Just as Benji tolerates and gives in of Elvis staying around me. Uneasiness are only a term felt by both parties and I don't. For me, I expects and proactively reacts to situation I foresees, thus don't wish to dwell on things that I can't change.

I grew closer to Elvis due to a few facts, such as Elvis stays nearer to me and he drives, and also the facts that Elvis are more appealling and less awkward, and things seems brighter on Elvis side for a moment. We share lots of interests as well, unlike Benji. This is also one boring fact about Benji, is that, he doesn't really do things. All he do is stays at home and uses internet and nothing else seriously. When outside, he would stick to movies and meals and nothing else we could really do. Elvis have my experimentalistic character, we like to try and like to learn. We develops the kind of liking for stuffs and activities so fast, that proximity became imbalance, this is then I realise things have changed.

The kind of DVD we rented and watched together, go snacking and sharing of gay reading materials, and talking, sharing, so much so much, all was so vulnerable over a person's greed in getting what he wants, Me. Good times doesn't take long to be dusted and archive, Elvis became strangely and scaringly scheming. And jealousy is beyond overfilling and exploding... I left Elvis to shatter and torn. Elvis learned that Benji was not welcomed by the Family initially and is just a mere figure that existed because I am in the Family. Elvis learned that Benji has not much speaking power and has noone close enough to enhance his status as more than just my boyfriend. And knowledge grew to became power, just as words grew to became swords and daggers. He took his chance.

Elvis understand that since Benji doesn't really stands firmly more than just being my boyfriend, he stands more chance. Utilising the most contemporary tactic, peer pressure, he planned his way to achievement. Outings are never just about me if you have guessed, its usually about us and this us is referring to my Family. Segregation of Family from me and him appears more obvious then ever, in every step to make him feeling uneasy and weird, unwelcome and not related. I felt it back then, and I can still remember the kind of staggering awkwardness, it is too much that I can't choose to ignore. But then again, that is altogether another story to be told. TBC (To Be Continued)...

Philosophy: Better Save than Sorry

Have you in any circumstances experienced something like this:

That you are living your own life, making your own decisions, speaking up for yourself and doing things for yourself, living up to your matured responsibilities as you. Just then, people doubt you, distrustfully and disruptively, and starts to tell you what to do and how to do your things. And telling you if you do this or do that, what is it that is required of you. And makes you want to just ignore them because more of the explanations you give are just falling on deaf ears and not heard?

And the biggest joke of all is that, if you are folly enough or so as to be trusting enough to follow those instructions, and things didn't went the way it should be, and you got to bare the responsibilities majority and this subject figure starts to apologies... Isn't it a bit too late to say sorry now? And sorry is just so not going to give you a second chance to not repeat such mistake ever again.

Familiar I suppose? Here's a story I have read and learned and know somewhere in this World existed and still kept in my mind but to speak truly, I am not referring to anyone's work in particular and not copying anyone's work as well. If facts or situation somewhat turned out similar or worst, same, please understand that I did not copy it from you okay:

There were once lived this old farmer who lived with his young grandson. One day, this old farmer saw his young grandson going around killing ants which is located right outside the pleace where they stayed. Poor ant and their home are devastatedly wet and flooding. And the old farmer calls to his grandson, 'lad, come over' and the young grandson slowly paced over to his grandpa, 'what is it pups'. On the old farmer holds two things, one is a nail, and the other is a hammer.

Just then, the old farmer told to his young grandson, 'lad, do you know that killing innocent ant is wrong? They didn't disturb you, why did you disturb them?' the sad and regretful young grandson look back at those wet ants and ant nests feeling very bad. Just then, the old farmer past him this hammer and nail in his hands, 'from now on, whenever you did something wrong, take a nail and pound it into this wooden pillar here.' puzzled the young grandson may be, but he remained silent and started pounding the first nail into the pillar. 'And when you did something nice, pull one nail out from the pillar...'

A few more days later, he committed something wrongful, and he took another nail and pounded it into the pillar and some nails are pulled from the pillar. And another few days passes by, and some more nails were driven and more are pulled out from the wooden pillar. Day come, day past, more nails are driven to the pillars and. Until one very day not far from then, the old farmer called to the young grandson, 'come over here' and he slowly strolled over. The old farmer begin saying, 'now do you see the pillar, what has it become?

'Your past bad things may have been uplifted by your past good deeds, but nonetheless, the hole is still there remains in the wooden pillar. So whenever you do anything, consider the outcome. Don't just do, because amendments are just not good enough.'

What have you learned from here? Just something for you to ponder today...

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2008!!!

Music and Lyrics

This movie is my all-time favorite. Nothing much in particular but it is purely meaningful, inspirational and touching. A 2007 production starring Hugh Grant (as Alex Fletcher) and Drew Barrymore (as Sophie Fisher). I love Drew Barrymore... YAY! I am gonna leave the synopsis for this one and emphasize more on the music. I really loved two of the songs really a lot. And one of them sounds like this:

Don't Write Me Off by Alex Fletcher

It's never been easy for me
To find words to go along with a melody
But this time there's actually Something on my mind
So please forgive These few brief awkward lines

Since I met you My whole life has changed
It's not just my furniture You've rearranged
I was living in the past But somehow you've brought me back
And I haven't felt like this Since before Frankie said, 'Relax'

(Chorus)
And though I know
Based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I'm asking you
Is don't write me off just yet

For years I have been telling myself The same old story
That I'm happy to live off My so-called former glories
But you've given me a reason To take another chance
Now I need you despite the fact That you've killed all my plants

(Chorus)
And though I know
I've already blown more chances
Than anyone should ever get
All I'm asking you
Is don't write me off just yet
Is don't write me off just yet

And you know what is the next song I loved the most I suppose. It means a lot to me and is something really meaningful to me as well. And that song is Way Back Into Love.

Oh, and some interesting lines that makes me really loved this movie so much is...

Sophie: A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex.

Alex: I so get that.

Sophie: But then, as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It's the combination of two that makes it magic.

I present to you, Music and Lyrics.

'Let Me Think About It' by Ida Corr

Let Me Think About It
Let Me Think About It

You saying baby
I'll take you for a ride
Let's get together
Work it all night

I'll be your love
You sexy look fine
I'll make you feel like
Heaven is near

Let Me Think About It
Let Me Think About It

Come On Girl Believe Me
I'll Make You See
That I Am The True Way
To Exctasy

Touch Me
Feel Me
Then You Will Find
We Are Meant To Be
And I Aint Lying

Let Me Think About It
Let Me Think About It

You Say You Wan't Me
You Say You Need Me
You Say You Love Me
How Come You Leave Me

You Say You Wan't Me
You Say You Need Me
You Say You Love Me
How Come You Leave Me...

Let Me Think About ('bout it)
Let Me Think About ('bout it)
Let Me Think About ('bout it)
Let Me Think About ('bout it)

Ragh
(Metrolyrics.com, 22 December 2008)

Infinite Abbreviations

Cannot Answer That = 'CAT'
Cannot Be Angry = 'CBA'
Can't Be Bothered = 'CBB'
Consumed By Passion = 'CBP'
Couldn't Honestly Care = 'CHC'
Cut My Own Throat = 'CMOT'
Change Of Heart = 'COH'
Cheap Or What = 'COW'
Crying Real Big Tears = 'CRBT'
Can't Stop Laughing = 'CSL'
Caring Unattached Nice Type = 'CUNT'
Don't Ask = 'DA'
Dreams All Come True = 'DACT'
Dumb But Assertive = 'DBA'
Don't Bother Me = 'DBM'
Drop Dead Gorgeous = 'DDG'
Delightful Interesting Vivacious Attitude = 'DIVA'
Don't Repeat Yourself = 'DRY'
Don't Wish to Answer = 'DWA'
Electronic Costume Party = 'ECP'
In close reference to Abbreviations.com

-End-

Something about Me, Something about Gay and Something about Love V

Disclaimer: All Rights Reserved, avoid further reading if HOMOPHOBIC. Emphasis that there might have contents not suited for the eyes of 21 and below. The events depicted in this blog entry is fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.

As previously, we stopped at

But strange enough, that my memory served me too well, that it have totally lost track of how things have ended other then just three SMS. In a very day, on a very night, and I can clearly recall I was in Bugis area when I received his breakup SMS. I am able to recall I was more anger than sad, more disturbed than devastated. And immediately within 10days, I have rebounded back on my feet and mind and soul about him and start a life without him, but as friends. And now, that I dared to acknowledge that back then I was strong and simple. Life went on...

Nothing smells as good as single. The air, the feeling, the intensiveness and even the kind of conversation. It was really such a relieve. I caught the most natural and relaxing piece of breathe in the entire year. And all I need to do is enjoy while I could, enjoy the peace of single can get and the time one can offer. I clubbed as I would and drink as I would and of course, expand my social circle and friends as I would. But what I had in the past is no longer what I enjoyed there after. The group that I clubbed with, the people that I contacted with, and the people I hangout with... is like being segregated by a glass wall. You see them, can wave to them and say hi, but you can never be with them as the past, the proximity, is all gone just like dust.

I began to group hop whenever I club. I don't stick to a singular group, and even if I do, it won't be long before I start to hop to elsewhere again. But then, the group that I enjoyed the company then was with Shawn and Ken and group. This particular group is a mixed of a few unique cultural, and one of all is Drag Queens. A group pretty proactive to homosexual promotion and even organizes rainbow competition to go international to compete for the crowning of Drag Queen (can you imagine that?).. And by the way, Drag Queen basically means a guy who likes to put on makeup and dressed up and appear exactly like a woman (with boobs too).

It isn't long before the next cute raver that clubs in Why Not comes over to get to know me in person and start to fall for me. I wasn't really into relationship then of course, but that wasn't going to end there. I enjoy watching people fall in love, I enjoy being an observer and see the sweet lovey dovey couple remains happy. And the most important aspect of me came in, to observe construction and destruction of love in progress. Of course by staying as a non-involved person. That is where I was when I choose to be single. And other then not wanting a relationship, at the same time, I don't expect people to want one with me either.

Time and again, people misunderstood my actions and intentions. Then I began to understand, I have learned to become complicated after I learned how relationship works in human. Differentiation from heterosexual and homosexual, and the most unpleasant of all, bisexual. If you look things carefully, you can see that both the straights and the gays share a number of things in common, and the weakest link is the bi-people. Some way or another, a lot of things will pour in to a person life the least the person expects, for example, you may not want your life to be as happening as the waves of the sea, but things would normally happen the otherwise.

It seems short, but feels long, to feels that my easy and simple single hood is coming to a close end. I ended up being fond and showered with love from nine (I repeat, nine, as in 9) people. Each of which knows me in a different situation, a different way, at a different time, pursued me, trying to persuade me into relationship (or maybe so, I thought). And least do I expect me myself to choose to be attached to someone in this manner, in the most undesirable manner of being in a relationship not because of wanting to be in a relationship with the person.

You will be able to hear tons and millions of sweet words such as "I only want to be with you...", "I would be single even if I were not picked...", "I wish to love you more...", "Where are you, I want to meet you...", etc etc. Imagine that from nine different people. Well, ultimately, I asked one person to give me one month grace period to consider if I would be with him, one intention is to "buy" time, another is to verify his probability to be with me, and third would be to embrace my last few periods of freedom. And so the clock starts ticking, and counting down. To say the word most truly, I wasn't very keen initially, but once started, I will learn in my own ways to develop keenness for the person.

The very night the countdown reaches zero, is a Saturday that I would clubbing. And as it is close to 12mn, we excused ourselves to the open air for some space of my own. I asked if is this really what he wanted, and he said yes. And I furthermore drew my territory by starting lots of my terms and lots of conditions, and he agreed all at the same go. And there was the time and period when my other eight pursuers gotten disappointed and one emerged to be deemed both lucky and important to me from then onwards, I declared to be in a relationship with this guy, called Benji.

A little introduction about this guy Benji: He is the kind of everyday guy whom you see on the streets, not eye-catching at all, neither is he the kind of people's guy. It is very easy to missed him, if you don't even know him. His presence is like a breeze, for a moment you may mark him around, the next moment you may have forgotten about him being around. He don't socialize as much, neither does he the kind of guy who you would like to socialize with. If you have slightly more fate with him, you may ended up with him speaking of more then enough conversation in your whole life, if not, you wouldn't even bother but to just sustain a few 'hi's and 'have a great day'. A workaholic that doesn't really have the kind of measures as to what he can expect before things happen, but he sure is one big fan of determination and endurance. TBC (To Be Continued)...

'Take A Bow' by Rihanna

Oh, how about a round of applause
Yeah, standing' ovation
Oh oh yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah

You look so dumb right now
Standing' outside my house
Trying' to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
Please, just cut it out

And don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining'
But it's over now (but it's over now)
Go on and take a bow
Oh...

Grab your clothes and get gone (get gone)
You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on
Talking' about, girl, I love you, you're the one
This just looks like a re-run
Please, what else is on (oh)

And don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining'
But it's over now (but it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

Oh, and the award for the best liar goes to you
For making me believe that you could be faithful to me
Let's hear your speech out

How about a round of applause
A standing' ovation

But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
Now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining'
But it's over now (but it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

But it's over now...
(Lyricsmode, 12 December 2008)

Eternal Summer

Hmm.. This should be something familiar =) Eternal Summer, a 2006 Taiwan movie production. There is nothing much for me to introduce about.. The synopsis is:

As a child, Shane (Joseph Chang) was an unruly elementary student, who was rebellious and unpopular. While none of the other children would allow Shane to join their groups, Jonathan (Bryant Chang) went forward and befriended Shane. From that moment on, they became best friends.

Ten years later, this friendship has since blossomed and both Shane and Jonathon are inseparable. While Shane considers Jonathon his best friend, Jonathon is coming to terms with growing affection for Shane which he keeps a secret. The story heats up with the addition of a new student, Carrie (Kate Yeung) who enters their high school. She falls for Jonathon and tries to seduce him in a sleazy love hotel which ends up botched. She soon suspects Jonathon’s feelings for Shane.

At the same time, Shane begins to take an interest in Carrie and they start a relationship that they keep secret from Jonathon. Jonathon carries on struggling with his sexual identity crisis, while Shane tries to his best to understand Jonathon’s withdrawal. Jonathon becomes more confused after Shane beds him one night. Despite their efforts to keep their personal feelings secret, the three of them will finally have to clarify their intertwined relationship.
Synopsis from Asian Gay Films.com, admin, 26 October 2008

Here are some notes from Wikipedia:

There is an astrological symmetry in the character's names:

¤ Shane - 守恒 Shou Heng stands for 恒星 Heng Xing - star (the Sun).
¤ Jonathan - 正行 Zheng Xing stands for 行星 Xing Xing - planet (the Earth).
¤ Carrie - 慧嘉 Hui Jia stands for 彗星 Hui Xing - the Comet.The Sun always shines.

The Earth follows its route surrounding the Sun, but cannot approach it.
The Comet brings surprise to the solar system.
The picture is incomplete without any one of them.
(Wikipedia, 10 December 2008)

There is more then just telling you, here you go, enjoy:

Something about Me, Something about Gay and Something about Love IV

Disclaimer: All Rights Reserved, avoid further reading if HOMOPHOBIC. Emphasis that there might have contents not suited for the eyes of 21 and below. The events depicted in this blog entry is fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.

As previously, we stopped at

I didn't react gentlemanly enough to cover him up, but in fact, fanned the situation further and ended up with some steamy night. Since it was the 'dark room', it was well equipped: condoms, lubricant, tissue wipe, etc. By the time both of us are ready to drop back to the mattress and lie dead, the day broke and that's when we rested for real.

I back then, was a very innocent and green person, and worst is the society structured me in a way that I am the most honest and "integritised" human being that I ever know of as well, after all, I am serving NS in SPF. The kind of relationship that I was into was very not clear-cut and unspecified. Indescribable it was, my days are very routine, and the relationship is merely a "free-time" thing.

I can still recalled that the kind of time I was given is very scheduled: 12 hours in the day, reporting to the headquarter early in the day, meet up with my team mates and have breakfast together and start work, which usually ends around 6-7 in the evening; that starts another day of 12 hours in the evening the next day of shift and ends early in the morning, have breakfast with my team mates and rest; and the morning and the next day is my off day. That's my life, my days and my time then.

And for him, Victor spends his time in a altogether different way. Just to name a few, going Sentosa suntanning, meet up with his friends for catchup, and go pubs in the night. A very relaxed and at the same time unproductive manner. If I remembered correctly, he was into Multi-Level Marketing (or MLM for short) back then. Not to be biased, but quite an ambitious person with the kind of unproductive lifestyle was his cup of tea. Not very structured, not very regular kind of lifestyle. Almost like waiting to be fed in another words.

The only time that I would get to see him, have a really good chat and a close look at him, is merely when I go to club. Clubbing was my kind of night whenever I am not on shift. Whether on Friday or Saturday, it doesn't seem to be different to me. And also one thing about Victor is that he was working in this pub during the weekend and its called Tantric. A very pleasant place to drink if you enjoy the kind of Caucasian cruising scene and touchy hands that you don't even know where they might misplaced next, and of course seeing people of great generation gaps standing and sitting side by side drinking is the kind of scene I am referring to.

Well, if you ask me if I club to see him, I would answer no. But if you ask me if I am there to club, would I wish to see him, I would say yes. That was the kind of me back then. And the most enjoyable thing that I do then, was just to sit down and drink with Victor and talk. Seeing him drink is just something that usually catches my eyes (and many other things about him catches my attention). If you were to make assumptions that he was a social butterfly, I would most probably say he is.

Thinking back now, reminds me a lot of things about him. His smiles and the kind of jokes he usually crap about. His voice is practically music to my ears, even though he don't talk as much as I would. Face is not as handsome, or as charming, but to me, they are all enough to fall for. He is almost like my dream (not the dream guy, but the dream itself). Doesn't have much bad habits, but if I have to pick one, it will be the impractical side of him. He is definitely a dependent partner if he is with anyone, and a good lover if anyone were to ask.

But strange enough, that my memory served me too well, that it have totally lost track of how things have ended other then just three SMS. In a very day, on a very night, and I can clearly recall I was in Bugis area when I received his breakup SMS. I am able to recall I was more anger than sad, more disturbed than devastated. And immediately within 10days, I have rebounded back on my feet and mind and soul about him and start a life without him, but as friends. And now, that I dared to acknowledge that back then I was strong and simple. Life went on... TBC (To Be Continued)

No Reservations

This is one movie that I have missed back then during the period when it was screening and thought of giving this a try and ended up not watching it and regretted not watching it. A 2007 American romantic drama directed by Scotts Hicks and starring Catherine Zeta-Jones (as Master Chef Kate) and Aaron Eckhart. From the picture, Aaron Eckhart is a new face to me, and I somewhat finds him kindda charismatic. Okay, anyway, back to main topic.. The synopisis of the movie is:

Kate (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is the master chef at the trendy 22 Bleecker Street Restaurant in Manhattan. She runs her kitchen at a rapid pace as she coordinates the making and preparing of all the fantastic meals and personally displays the food to perfection on every dish. She intimidates everyone around her, so her boss sends her to therapy. Kate hates to leave the kitchen when a customer wants to compliment her on one of her special dishes, but she is ready to leave the kitchen in a second when a customer insults her cooking.

Kate's sister is killed in a car accident and her nine-year old daughter Zoe (Abigail Breslin) moves in with Kate. With all of Kate's problems, the boss hires a new chef to join the staff. Nick (Aaron Eckhart) is a rising star in his own right and could be the head chef of another restaurant, but he wants to work under Kate. Kate begins to feel threatened by Nick, because he has a different style of running the kitchen.

Nick loves to listen to opera when he cooks and to make the staff laugh. With all that is going on in Kate's life, falling for a man is the last thing she was looking for. There is some kind of chemistry between Kate and Nick that can only go one way. Yet life will hit her in the head when Kate's boss offers Nick the head chef job. Douglas Young (the-movie-guy)
(Synopsis by IMDb, J. Spurlin, 6 December 2008)

Please enjoy the movie and hopefully, you don't end up salivating over the movie's contents. I would grade this movie somewhat 3 out of 5 stars. What do you think?

'Only Time' by Enya

Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows, only time?
And who can say if your love grows,
As your hearth chose, only time?

Who can say why your heart sights,
As your live flies, only time?
And who can say why your heart cries
when your love lies, only time?

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be, in your heart?
and who can say when the day sleeps,
and the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart.....

Who can say if your love groves,
As your heart chose, only time?
And who can say where the road goes
Where the day flows, only time?

Who knows? Only time
Who knows? Only time
(Lyrics007, 27 May 2008)

What do you think about this song? I suddenly tripped over this song and found it very interesting even after being circulated for quite a long while, and so hogged it to my blog.. Enjoy with your eyes close, try it =)

DBS pulls publicity under pressure

Singapore's biggest consumer bank hastily recanted its campaign to contribute a part of its credit card customer's spending to anti-gay Focus on the family (FOTF) after strong pressure from angry gay customers who have been registering their displeasure to the bank through emails and calls.

After Trevvy's report last week, Trevvy members have indicated that they have contacted DBS bank to register their displeasure, backed with information of FOTF's anti-gay activities, with many threatening to close their accounts. Several have also posted on Trevvy forums and Facebook to call for a boycott of the bank.

On Tuesday 2 December DBS released the following statement in its latest response to customers complaining the FOTF campaign:

We would like to reiterate that it was never the intention of the Bank to discriminate against any group through this initiative. Nonetheless, given the feedback received and to demonstrate that DBS believes in diversity and inclusion, we will be removing the Christmas charity campaign with immediate effect.

DBS will continue to play its part to support the community at large and we hope to have your understanding and support.

DBS' statement prior to this defended its decision by insisting that FOTF is a registered charity and the contribution is for a children's learning centre.

However, Trevvy understands that DBS is merely dropping all publicity and is discussing with FOTF regarding the amount the bank will contribute towards the learning centre.

Giving his take on this incident, media analyst Ted Young told Trevvy, "I think DBS did not expect such a strong response from the gay community, especially from many of its own customers who threatened to cancel their credit cards. While we are uncertain of the exact details, it is clear that DBS has realised that the fallout—image and the potential loss of revenue—outweighs its obligation to continue the campaign. However the fact remains that DBS will still be giving money to an anti-gay group."

The original campaign would have DBS contributing up to S$15,000 towards FOTF when credit cardholders spend a minimum of $300 on weekends at selected malls from 14 November to 21 December.
by Team Trevvy, Scoops feature, 2 Dec 2008

Heard of this before? Well, I guess this is all parts and parcel of contribution from the government of being so passive towards deciding on how to react to homo-issues now. Part of me tells me that the society is looking up to the government in telling them how to decide, and another part of me tells me that the society doesn't really cares. But what is really the case? In the transition of law building and policy making, such issues are way way accumulating as well. Who is there to deny?

But on my personal point of view, we are merely defending our right and not to take on the "rip" of what we don't deserve. I am sure this statement is a non-deserving statement for all homo ear's:

“FOTF is a local offshoot of the US organization of the same name, known for its strong anti-gay stance and programmes. FOTF regards homosexuality as a sinful moral choice and psychological problem. ”

Where is the kind of tolerance adults keep speaking about? And understanding too? Sigh.. People...

A Vexy Day

This would be one of those days that I am both heart-trapped and mind-troubled and yet racing and battling against time in search of the cure to the source of such bother. One that is able to think and logically construct a reasonable and valid solution, and two it got to consider other intangible complications as well which normally includes things like people's feelings, emotions, etc. Not that I am a trouble seeker, nor am I too free and found nowhere to utilize the same effort and so entangled myself. Well, noone may understand why and what, even though I know exactly why and what it is.

Such a feeling is best described to as vex and the best solution to it is talk it out. Talking is important, at the same time, this talking is very crucial as well. For example, how you talk things out affects the outcome.. Or how about this, the time you choose to talk things out affects the outcome as well, and many other variables. Most important determinants in such a situation in specific, I would think is the people involved. Best kept as two person, but sometimes it just involved more. Talking over the vex feelings is a way to express views under a bit of duress and a bit of extreme conditions of non-ideal environment, which to what I think, doubly adds on the reason to talk.

Only by talking, ideas can be put to known.. And only by talking, the message can be transmitted.. And only by talking, expressions are understood.. And only by talking, can there have a tendency of better communication through vocal. Such communication is important is all circumstances and is applicable to most suggestions you can come up with. Since such a communication is important, there are times when communications ain't as effective or ain't efficiently communicated. So in order for the communication to be effectively and efficiently put across, it requires a general understanding of the concept of one talker and one listener, or one speak and one receive, ideally.

As of the understanding of speaking and receiving, whenever there are more than one speaking and there's only one receiving, the receiving role will overload and mis-communicates. Similarly for one speaking and there's more than one receiving, the different receiver will all capture different things and come up with a lot of different answers, and thus, overloading. And that explains the ideal concept of one speaking and one receiving. Doesn't that just sound wonderful?

Well, no. I didn't have the opportunity to do all those =(

Part-Time Jobbing, which part do you not understand?

You know, sometimes I really wonder how structured is the system an economy can get. For one very specific aspect such as employment seeking, how structured it can get? How much did the workers know about the exact details of employment? Terms and conditions? Government guidelines? Policies and Benefits? Restrictions of Job Titles? I somehow felt that there is so much more the society can improve and further make me feels like 'hey, I ain't that ignorant and useless ok..' :P

Generally, all of it happens like this.. I decided to seek part-time employment in accounting job scope for permanent this time round after my examination was over and after my class started immediately the week after that (by the way result not out yet, so anxious about the result). And so, as according to the norm, I am required to send resumes out to the respective interested positions that I wanted to apply in the form of E-mail. Leaving behind my contact numbers and some other details in my job search, so as to better regulate them if they happen to want to contact me and schedule an interview of some sorts.

And as always, the job searching agency usually floods the job searching website more than the employer's job candidates searching advertisement. And thus, most of my interested callers are job searching agents. I discover they usually have two very common questions which they have problem in understanding and what are those you may want to know, they are, 'may I know what do you mean by part-time?' and 'why do you want to look for part-time?' And thus, what would I answer them in a repeative way which I explains to all of the people who asked so:

What do you mean by part-time?
What I meant by part-time is a search for the job that can allows me to work about the guidelines of 30hours (but the job agents rather here 32hours) or working four out of five work days in a weekday. Seriously I suppose most people wouldn't know that actually I am referring directly from latest 2007 update on part-time requirement and context, which noone really knows that I think. And added that if the employers require me to work every weekday (five weekdays) then I would knock off equivalently at 4pm. Which part of calculation they can't understand that 9am-4pm everyday adds up to 30hours? Seemingly they could still ask why.. And I really also puzzled what is meant by 'why'.

Why do you want to look for part-time?
This is more like a personal reason which I have no problem putting it in words, but yet, people tend not to understand. Ok, allow me to say it this way, I am currently studying part-time degree near to City Hall and but then the study load that I am given is the study load of a full-time student that requires me to contribute most of my time in studies compared to a usual part-time student. Whom would choose to take things in a less tense and less compact manner.. It will be required to attend classes averagely four times per week. And next would cause them as 'why do you want to knock off at 4pm?' implying that my class is at 7pm and knocking off earlier wouldn't help me in anyway (in the viewpoint of a job agent which sounds so insensitive). I shall not go into that, but basically, it will pose a threat to the time I can contribute to my study which eventually effects my modular results.

Well, my objective of this post is to make everyone who read this aware that there can have more improvements done on such an important process such as employment searching. Employment searching are important as if the employment process are not fitting, the employees won't turn up motivated working for the company in the end. People can learn to be less inclined towards trying to clinch quantity clients and more inclined for quality employments, doesn't it sounds like some vision to look forward to? I do feel it's achieveable, eventhough I know people are both careless and lazy people. It that a different way to feel trust?

Something about Me, Something about Gay and Something about Love III

Disclaimer: All Rights Reserved, avoid further reading if HOMOPHOBIC. Emphasis that there might have contents not suited for the eyes of 21 and below. The events depicted in this blog entry is fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.

As previously, we stopped at

'A few nice memories got me remembered that I caught 'Crying out Love, in the center of the World' and Wet Dreams 2 and a few more other nice movies with Irvine.. Irvine did make a very good movie critics and was a very good movie kaki to go movie with then. And is one of my most frequent hobbies I like to do from time to time. Those were the time when things are just purest and sweetest with no intentions to think of and nothing to worry or care about. And Victor on the other hand, hold a part of the turning key to what I had then.. And The part that Irvine wants to date me is somewhere during this sweet little July till my birthday, one of the very very fine day.'

With such a date, we took things slow and I mean it.. SLOW. We sometimes can skip a few weeks and resume some meetings and from time to time, we are able to click really well. This is when Victor comes in the picture. On a very fateful day, Victor asked if we could meet and I was just knocked off from my NS day "work" and on my way to Aljuined station (back then) for a class (Diploma). And he met me somewhere at Chinese Garden stop. And of course I agreed.. since I didn't met up with him before and out of sudden he initiated, so why not? And so when I reached the stop, I just get off the train and walk backwards to find him.. to my amazement, my Kent didi was there.. and it was then that I realized that they exchanged numbers on the day of celebration for my birthday.

So the three of us traveled to Aljuined area and there is where I had my quick meal and rush off for my class. I personally ain't petty or what that I can remember something so small, just that I find it was one of the major shifting point of my story. So [skip.. skip.. skip] it reach a very day that I was on a phone conversation with Kent didi and then suddenly out of curiosity I popped-out this question, 'how do you find Victor?' and then later on admitted that I had a very unique (and positive) feeling towards him that I don't know what is it known as also. And we shared a lot more other similar linking conversation and later on knowing that Victor sent Kent didi back home and then no transport to travel back home and they were trying to figure out what to do. [I ain't involved after that]

And comes one very fine Friday that I went for my weekly routine clubbing both Friday and Saturday. And what actually happened was that I enjoyed my clubbing session as usual, had a few drinks and gulps of liquor, lots of dancing and moving around the dance floor and such. Usually ended around 3am and I proceed to have some food in Maxwell, all so usual, until Victor was about to make his way to a gay spa (usual spa facilities) called 'V-Club'. And he asked if I am tired and interested to follow him to there to rest as there's "rooms" available to rest. In a general understanding, in a room a lot of things could happen, e.g. sleep.. but in this specific issue (I was unaware back then..) means sex.

I followed him, we chatted as happily and comfortably as what we usually do and then minutes later, reached. And then as a newbie, they issued towel and a locker key to me.. which I was still not very aware of it figuratively, but literally. A locker is to put stuffs and secure it safely, and a towel is to wipe yourself dry that is. But then later looking at how Victor does it, he took off everything that's on him and then covered with the towel and locked every other things within the locker.. kind of shy then, I followed. And then we proceed to use a bit of the sauna room and such. During the sauna room, we just happened to be discussing about Kent didi, who was back then, still with Nelson and both are equally important to me as a friend and yet have problems with their communication. And suddenly it came to a point Victor slipped his tongue saying Kent didi likes him... (OMG!)

I was like suddenly showed extreme attention and keep asking a lot of 'and then...?' and guessed was was Victor's response? Victor said something like this, 'Kent is still young and thinking is still a bit childish. I wouldn't pick him even if he likes me, or rather, compare him to you, I rather pick you..' I was like so shy and just replied with a 'orh...' And later on, after most of the facilities he wanted to use we have been through, we took shower together. The concept of the shower there was open concept, which was nothing special, as in NS, most people would have to get use to bathe side by side nakedly with other guys. And so I did.. It was dark as there wasn't any light around back then as it could be sometime around 5am maybe that they would switch off most light and proceed to resting in the "rooms". And by the way, the 'rooms' have a name to it, and they called it 'dark rooms'.

It was dark, but nonetheless, with the availability of light, I did take glimpse after glimpse of his naked body.. and it doesn't take me long before erm.. I was erected. Simply true and feel it is normal to openly discuss about this now. I enjoyed what I saw and well, he did, of course, I think, saw my erection. Well, and after that we just quickly finish up and get dried and wrapped and turn in for the night. The 'dark room' is small, just like a room no bigger then maybe a 6m by 5m and the bed is just a thin sponge mattress with a toilet roll's holder behind the door area. And well, that is when I popped the question if he wish to be with me (which is I guess a rush and yet very deep romance decision) and he said yes and we rested.

Yeah, rested means sleep in most context, but in this, it merely meant closing of eyes. I can't get used to the mattress for one and second, it is the very first time I slept on the same mattress with someone I like a lot. Minutes ticked and minutes tocked and then he suddenly spoke and ask if I was still awake. I opened my eyes and said yes, and we just casually conversed as in 'I thought you are tired, why ain't you sleeping?', 'so, do you come here often?', etc. And then come to a point when we intended to tease one another by tickling, and suddenly through the struggle and tickle and giggle, Victor's towel loosened and opened up. Of course I didn't notice it immediately, but until a struggle of x minutes that we both grew exhausted from struggling, then I start to notice the "oops".

I didn't react gentlemanly enough to cover him up, but in fact, fanned the situation further and ended up with some steamy night. Since it was the 'dark room', it was well equipped: condoms, lubricant, tissue wipe, etc. By the time both of us are ready to drop back to the mattress and lie dead, the day broke and that's when we rested for real. TBC (To Be Continued)...

Lake House

This is one of my favorite movie that I have caught in 2006. One of the most memorable movie to me, and touched me the most during that period of time, and gave me most of my courage to Love then. Lake House, a movie with Keanu Reeves as Alex Wyler and Sandra Bullock as Dr Kate Foster in the story. And out of the sudden urge, I watched it again.

Feeling that it’s time for a change in her life, Dr. Kate Forester leaves the suburban Illinois locale where she completed her residency and takes a job at a busy Chicago hospital. One thing she is reluctant to leave behind is the uniquely beautiful house she has been renting – a spacious and artfully designed refuge with large windows that overlook a placid lake. It’s a place in which she felt her true self.

It is a winter morning in 2006.

On her way to the city, Kate leaves a note in the mailbox for lake house’s next tenant, asking him to forward her mail and noting that the inexplicable painted paw prints he might notice by the front door were there when she moved in.

But when the next tenant arrives, he sees a much different picture. Alex Wyler, a talented but frustrated architect working at a nearby construction site, finds the lake house badly neglected: dusty, dirty, overgrown with weeds. And no sign of paw prints anywhere.

The house has special meaning for Alex. In a happier time it was built by his estranged father (CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER), a renowned architect who let his professional acclaim grow at the expense of his family life. Alex feels a sense of peace here now and commits to restoring the property to its original beauty. He disregards Kate’s note until, days later, while painting the weather-beaten jetty he sees a stray dog run across the fresh paint and then towards the entrance of the house, leaving paw prints exactly where she said they’d be.

Baffled, Alex writes back, saying that the house had no occupant before him and wondering how she could have known about the dog; while Kate, who just left it a week ago imagines he is playing some kind of joke on her and fires back a reply.

Just for argument’s sake, what day is it there?

April 14, 2004.

No, she says. It’s April 14, 2006.

The same day, two years apart.

Can this be happening?

As Kate and Alex continue to correspond through the lake house’s mailbox they confirm that they are, incredibly, impossibly, living two years apart, and each at a time in their lives when they are struggling with past disappointments and trying to make a new start. Sharing this unusual bond, they reveal more of themselves to one another with each passing week – their secrets, their doubts and dreams, until they find themselves falling in love.

Determined to bridge the distance between them at last and unravel the mystery behind their extraordinary connection, they tempt fate by arranging to meet. But, by trying to join their two separate worlds, they could risk losing each other forever.
Synopsis by Cinemas-OnLine.co.uk, 23 Jun 2006

The scene that I loved the best is the walk on a very Saturday during the summer after according to the map showing the sequence of visit places. Just as they were introducing their likings and each others commitment and Alex claims that he is married and have 8 children and none of them look like him. After that, they both make a joke out of it and claims single.. How sweet can they get. And the part that makes me teared (yes, I teared) is the ending.. What's the ending? I am sure it would cause most people tear.. A happy ending of course, shouldn't sat anything more then that. For those who haven't watched the movie, give it a try, you won't get away empty handed and I'm sure you will love it. My grading for it: 5 out of 5 stars.

Black Homophobia, Gay and Lesbian Racism

Firstly, I really wish for anyone who gets to read this really read this carefully. I really admired the writer's way of putting such a grand and enormous picture into an article in the most politically acceptable manner. And for the concerns of homosexuality, I guess, the writer really deserves my respect. And I really wish the World (everyone) to read this article with an open-mind. Thank you.

In reference to Prop 8 and the result, I actually tripped by Fridae and discovered an article (News & Features) probing into the Prop 8 situation saying, 'Are black people homophobic? Are gays and lesbians racist? Shinen Wong weighs in on the debate as African American voters are blamed for the passage of Prop 8 which has effectively banned same-sex marriage in California.' (Fridae: News & Features article, 21 Nov 2008) And the article below:

We all live in a myriad of identities, wound up tightly within our sense of ourselves, giving meaning to who we are. I am 24 years old, male, Chinese, Malaysian, Asian, Gay, Queer, College educated, Buddhist, from a Middle Class background, and a writer. All of these identities make sense depending on who is asking. I am racially “Chinese” in Singapore, “Oriental” in the UK, “East Asian” in America, and “tángrén" (唐人) in China. At the age of 24, I am an adult to most 15-year-olds, and a youth to most 40-year-olds. All of these identities are highly contingent on what they are being compared against, and the context in which they may find themselves especially relevant (or not).

Yet, none of my identities can exist apart from one another. My being Chinese alone is meaningless. I am not only Chinese, I grew up in Singapore in the late 20th century, speaking English at home and taught all my major subjects in school in English. I have lived as an immigrant my whole life (being a Malaysian citizen growing up in Singapore), and I was part of a racial majority in Singapore. My parents are of Hakka, Cantonese, and Hokkien background, and spoke Bahasa Melayu growing up in Malaysia. All this affects how I live as a Chinese person in today’s world. I only superficially share the same Chinese identity as people from China, or Chinese Americans, or Chinese people growing up in the UK or in South Africa, or Chinese people who speak Hainanese at home, or Chinese people from the Tang Dynasty. And yet, all of us can claim to share a rich cultural heritage of being Chinese, even if we effectively have less in common to carry on a conversation with each other than I would have with my gay Caucasian roommate here in Sydney.

The same is true for the other identities I have listed. How can my experience of being gay possibly be the same as a 50-year-old Jewish man growing up post-war Germany? And yet, we may both call ourselves gay, though the root definition of the word remains only a flimsy description of who we are in our totality. It is helpful and perhaps even necessary to identify similarly, to a point, until our differences start to override our similarities, and we will have to come to terms with and reconcile ourselves in our differences in order to make meaning out of our interactions with each other.

Nevertheless, most of us have an intuitive understanding of what it means to belong to such and such identity group, whether it be about sex, gender, national identity, racial/ethnic identity, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, and so on. In other words, we understand that having an identity means understanding that there are unspoken rules and definitions of what it means to belong, and we either fit or do not fit these definitions. Most of us on fridae.com have heard the idea that lesbians are all angry man-hating feminists, or that gay men are furniture-rearranging flamboyant narcissists, or that Asian men are submissive and white men are lecherous, and so on. Some of us may fit these descriptions to some extent, while some of us do not. And yet it remains, that one image of a group starts to dominate what it means to be part of the group at all. This is what it means to “stereotype” a community.

Stereotypes may have a basis in statistical truth. At the very least, they have a basis on what images of who we are get to dominate the discussion of who we are in the media, our classrooms, conversations with our friends, or at home with our families.

One of the interesting things about this recent debate about disproportionately high rates of African American voters (70 percent) voting YES on Proposition 8 (which has effectively banned same sex marriage in the state of California), is that it unfairly places the burden of responsibility for social justice activism on a single race group, and has unnecessarily bolstered the racism that characterises a lot of American LGBT politics. African Americans, in their experience of legendary American racism, are suddenly expected to just be more educated about ALL forms of oppression, as if black folks are intrinsically just predisposed to greater moral understanding of all oppression, what has been called a “presumption of civic obligation to support other liberal causes.” This expectation and presumption has been called “exceptionalism.”

The truth, as any of us will know coming from marginalised communities ourselves, is far more complex. Many of us know that gays and lesbians are disproportionately more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, or to commit suicide, and yet we would abhor if our sexuality was directly correlated with drugs, alcohol, and suicide by straight people. This mentality would lend support to the stereotype of gay people as mentally unstable, because we are gay. For many straight folks, our homosexuality alone is the reason for mental instability. We know better, of course. We understand that the root causes of our community’s abuse of drugs and alcohol and mental instability is NOT related to our homosexuality per se, but instead to our oppression, society’s lack of acceptance of us, isolation, and a lack of social support.

Similarly, when African American folks suddenly become the target of blame for the passing of Prop 8, one must wonder, what are the root causes of black homophobia? Is it that black people are just inherently more homophobic than any other racial group? Or could it be that society at large, including the wider LGBT movement, has inadequately addressed the concerns that African Americans disproportionately face? For example, racism in education and a corrupt prison industrial complex that incarcerates African American males at rates far higher than comparable crimes by Caucasian American men? If the No on Prop 8 campaign was to significantly send its message across to African American communities, how could this have been better achieved?

One of the banes of the gay and lesbian movement, particularly in the fight against Prop 8, has been to target and demonise Christianity as the root of all homophobia. And yet, this is ultimately a very myopic move for our liberation. Christianity and religious revivalism in America has historically also been the very tool that has vitalised a cohesive African American identity. In other words, when we speak ill of Christianity because of its contemporaries’ treatment of homosexuality, we indirectly speak ill of the very religion and spirituality that has been a symbol of many African American people’s freedom from literal bondage.

If it is true that Christianity has played a significant part in creating and sustaining all American homophobia (regardless of race), and I am not denying that it has, we must NOT deny that this religion has also brought an IMMENSE amount of relief from suffering, and in fact has helped catalyse monumental changes for historically disenfranchised groups in America as well, including and especially African Americans. This, of course, is not enough. Christianity needs to be reformed if we are to make significant changes in a majority of people’s mindsets about homosexuality. And yet, this reform cannot come in the form of a blanket condemnation or even a blindness to the libratory potential that this complex religion has had for entire communities of people including gays and lesbians.

Since the release of information on African American voting patterns regarding Prop 8, there have circulated reports from African American individuals about having been harassed and called racist names by white gays and lesbians. If black people are homophobic, doesn’t this equally mean that gays and lesbians are racist? My argument is neither yes nor no, but that to answer this question would be redundant. There are, after all, black gays and lesbians, who are no less black or gay or lesbian than any other black person or gay/lesbian person.

Basically, racism is racism, whether from gays or straights, though as gay Asians, we may experience racism from our gay community differently than from a straight community. Similarly, homophobia is homophobia, and has multiple causes, of which race is but one, and possibly not even the most significant one. It is tempting to think that black people or Asian people or Hispanic people are more homophobic than white people, but this is a misleading charge, even when backed by supposed statistical evidence. Evidently, “we,” as non-black gays and lesbians, are prepared to experience homophobia differently from African American voters than from white Mormons. We need to address our community’s racism.

As Audre Lorde, a famous African American lesbian feminist has written, “The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.” Not all black people are homophobic, not all Christianity is homophobic, and certainly not all gays and lesbians are racist. If “we,” as gays and lesbians, are to request other people’s understanding of who we are and why we deserve our needs to be met, we cannot fight homophobia with racism and religious intolerance. We cannot become blind to the cycles of poverty that disproportionately impact communities of colour in the USA. We cannot combat fundamentalist religious dogma with our own brand of violent and anti-spiritual atheism. We cannot close our ears to the needs of people who may have closed their ears to ours.
(Shinen Wong, Fridae: News & Features Article: Black homophobia, gay and lesbian racism, 21 Nov 2008)

Infinite Abbreviations

Introduction
What is this post suppose to talk about?
Changes of the forms of words and short phrase of words seemingly to have evolved throughout the computer age. And most certainly, it is not surprising how ignorant sometime people can be on such growth of English and usage of English. Thus come the purpose of me, sharing with you interesting short-forms that is used and available to use that is actually acceptable to convey the things that you want. Sounds interesting ain't it? Why not let's give it a try and learn a few along the way =)


Anyplace, Anywhere, Anytime = 'A3'
As A Friend = 'AAF'
All Completely Useless = 'ACU'
All Day I Dream About You = 'ADIDAU'
Any Excuse Will Do = 'AEWD'
As Far As I Know = 'AFAIK'
Away From Keyboard = 'AFK'
Another Insulting Deceptive Announcement = 'AIDA'
At The Moment = 'ATM'
Asian = 'AZN'
Back At Keyboard ='BAK'
Boyfriend Being Mean = 'BBM'
Because = 'BC'
Blouse Full Of Goodies = 'BFOG'
Be Healthy And Happy = 'BH&H'
Best Kept Secret = 'BKS'
Beware Of Many Boys Around You = 'BOMBAY'
Been There, Done That = 'BTDT'
Been There, Done That, Got The T-Shirt And Wore It Out = 'BTDTGTTSAWIO' (Wow, Bitchy, I like this one especially)
Because You Deserve What Every Individual Should Enjoy Regularly = 'BYDWEISER'
In close reference to Abbreviations.com

-End-

Philosophy: Lost and Found

Have you in any circumstances experienced something like this:

One day when you are looking for something (anything) and discovered is not in it's usual place. Thus, you decides to look around for it. Looking for it everywhere, highs and lows, almost turned the room, or even the house, upside-down inside-out. And ended up tired and upset knowing that you still didn't manage to find the thing you needed for the moment. Well, you tried your best and things didn't get done in the end.

And so the next thing you can do is either to borrow from someone who has it for that moment, or get a new one. In the midst of time, you still do miss the one that you have just lost. And the new one serves the best condolence to you. It serves you just the way it should, and do the things it would, and the best part is, it is new. It didn't take you long to re-adapt to this one and soon, everything is easily slipped the mind of you that somewhere in the room, there lies the old one that used to serve you the exact same things this new one did.

The biggest joke of all is that, just when all is gone and lost, one fine day, you tripped over the old thing and to your shocking, is the one you were looking for high and low that very day you felt as if you have lost it. You slowly picked yourself up and bend forward and pick the thing up, dusted it off a little. Take a closer look at it, and there is nothing's changed to it, just the way it was last remembered of. But then, come to think of it, you wouldn't need two of the same thing, and to your frustration, it wasn't there when you needed it back then.

Familiar I suppose? For some, it could be house keys, maybe a wallet that you used for years, or a book that you enjoyed so much, etc. Or sometime, to make things slightly different, it may come back to you the exact same time the new one is not doing what it should.. Does that deserve a different outcome altogether? Something for everyone to think and discover... And feel free to comment on what may have happened to your Lost and Found experience. And to the most of my discoveries, the same philosophy also could come applicable to intangible "things" as well, example, love.

But you know what I think? I find this kind of experience spooky... I hope I won't lose anything soon :)

'Better In Time' by Leona Lewis

It’s been the longest winter without you
I didn’t know where to turn to
See somehow I can’t forget you
After all that we’ve been through

Go in, come in
Thought I heard a knock
Who’s there? no one
Thinking that I deserved it
Now, I realize that I really didn’t know
You didn’t notice, you mean everything
Quickly I’m learning, to love again
All I know is, Imma be ok

Thought I couldn’t live without you
It’s gonna hurt when it heals to, oh yeah
(it’ll all get better in time)
Even though I really love you
I’m gonna smile cause I deserve to, uhhuhh
(it’ll all get better in time)

How could I turn on the tv, noooohhh
Without something there to remind me, uhm uhm
Was it all that easy
to just put aside your feelings?

If I’m dreaming
Don’t wanna let, hurt my feelings
But thats the path, I believe in
and I know that, time will heal it
You didn’t notice, you mean everything
Quickly I’m learning, to love again
All I know is, Imma be ok

Thought I couldn’t live without you
It’s gonna hurt when it heals to, ohh yeah
(it’ll all get better in time)
Even though I really love you
I’m gonna smile cause I deserve to
(it’ll all get better in time)

Since theres no more you and me (no more you and me)
It’s time I let you go so I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is ill be fine without you
Yes, I will

Thought I couldn’t live without you
It’s gonna hurt when it heals to, ohhohhh
It’ll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I’m gonna smile cause I deserve to
Yes, I do
It’ll all get better in time

Thought I couldn’t live without you
It’s gonna hurt when it heals to, ohhohhh
(it’ll all get better in time)
Even though I really love you
I’m gonna smile cause I deserve to
(Sandmile, Your Song Lyrics, 8 March 2008)

This song speaks a lot for my family members, both Anson didi and Shahul korkor, and me. I guess when things usually do what it does best, this is the best song to sew up the wounds and get prepared to move on. I do believe in the lyrics and love the music. Even though the club remix is so much hotter, I do prefer the original which has less "preservatives" and more feel. For all victims of Love and heart-throbbed passionate people, enjoy =)

Something about Me, Something about Gay and Something about Love II

Disclaimer: All Rights Reserved, avoid further reading if HOMOPHOBIC. Emphasis that there might have contents not suited for the eyes of 21 and below. The events depicted in this blog entry is fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.

As previously, we stopped at

'I was observing the situation and he seems to click very easily with crowds he hardly know. Soon gather.. soon cut the cake.. soon Victor gotta leave and I walked him to the taxi. An unforgettable night it was. Jia Jun was drunk, Muk was with YX, Jerald, Nelson and Kent was busy chatting around, and Irvine starts introducing me several way to drink liquor, eg. Screwdriver. And hit the club in the later night.. Nice planning right? Night went smoothly, and enjoyed it so much.'

A little introduction about this date of mine then, Irvine. He is a real gentlemen working and studying, shows high independence and high time-upkeep. Not very tall, and is somewhere around my ear-loop area in height, and a bit baby fat. Very patient person and his best quality I appreciated most is willingness. Both generous with his time and effort to me then, and really dotes on me. Well, then I was only around 19 years old and new in the circle, while for him, he was already in the circle years before I did and is 2-3 years older than me. The most attractive part of him to me then was his two small eyes. So imagine...

Back to the story, so from that very day onwards, everything goes back to normal lifestyle. Usual reporting to my "work place", "school" and home in a dull routine manner. And weekends then is spending time with Irvine, well, go out that is. (Caution: All events are not listed in time order, it is arranged in a random order) And one of those really special night that means a lot to me that happened even before my birthday then (with proper evidence and is documented somewhere around June) then was that we met up and he brought me to one of this dim sum restaurant, De Bao. He just know where to bring me to eat, seriously. It wasn't expensive and the food taste really great.. So basically, we easily spent 2hour plus seated in there slowly have our bites as we chatted.

I wouldn't relate that as a dating experience.. The feeling of it wasn't dating at all, it feels so familiar and comfortable unlike what I expected dating should feel. You know, all tense up and feels shy and heart-accelerated. But no, everything seems really nice and easy and we really hit topics very easily. And I believe then, he likes to call me 'xiao di di' (In Chinese. In English: little brother in a neutral speech) which really makes me feel like so well taken care of and young. And after that, we took a slow stroll and he says, 'do you want to sit down and have some drinks?' I said yes... And he won't need to ask any further and he just brought me to some really cosy nice shop, called Nines Cafe and we entered. The decors and siting all looks very cosy and warm feeling. Makes anyone that enters feels like 'make yourself at home' kind.

And we seated. For all I could remember, is next to a glass panel which is near to the shop's neon lighting sign board. It all feels very nice and we ordered drinks. And after that, not long after that, the drinks came. And minutes after that, he told me his godbro want to join us for a few moments as his godbro happens to be wanting to visit there that moment. The time has also slowly drifted off. The shop is about to close as we paid for the drinks and strolled to MRT and make our way home. From just the trip, he doesn't let me pay a single cent for anything, rejecting all kinds of repayments. And as we were on our trains travelling back home, we smsed. Asking for feedbacks, asking about my time if when will I be free and next time want to bring me along to his friends gathering, etc etc. And I agreed...

There is also an instance which embarked in my weak memory is this very time that we met up in a fine fine day and planned to watch movie. We were walking and walking and chatted, we could practically chat about anything, and apparently so, he likes new age stuffs as well, eg. Astrology, Tarot, Dowsing, etc. and I expressed interest in these as well you see. And until one traffic light when we were waiting, comes a pretty shocking part, I received a sms.. I believe then I was using an obsolete clam phone by now. And as I take up my phone and look into it, it was from Victor. My heart did raced awhile, but rather, my mind was all puzzled as I didn't contact him a lot, but just with casual sms greetings.

And comes a second and third, and then Irvine starts to poke and sees the sms and ask whose that.. As always, nothing to hide, and I just say it was from Victor of course. And for the next 20-30minutes of the topics turned to Victor then on. Irvine starts to explain that he already knew Victor sometime ago during work and that he wasn't on very good terms with him. And since he claimed that they once worked together before, of course the next thing anyone would ask would be, so how was he like, or tell me more about him, or anything similar.. Right? Or so I did. Shall not go deeper into what did Irvine say, but just basically ask me to see for myself and keep my eyes open. And then I tried probing more a little bit and then we stopped the topic and reached the place, watched movie. Can't really figure out what movie was that now...

A few nice memories got me remembered that I caught 'Crying out Love, in the center of the World' and Wet Dreams 2 and a few more other nice movies with Irvine.. Irvine did make a very good movie critics and was a very good movie kaki to go movie with then. And is one of my most frequent hobbies I like to do from time to time. Those were the time when things are just purest and sweetest with no intentions to think of and nothing to worry or care about. And Victor on the other hand, hold a part of the turning key to what I had then.. And The part that Irvine wants to date me is somewhere during this sweet little July till my birthday, one of the very very fine day. TBC (To Be Continued)...