Something about Me, Something about Gay and Something about Love IV

Disclaimer: All Rights Reserved, avoid further reading if HOMOPHOBIC. Emphasis that there might have contents not suited for the eyes of 21 and below. The events depicted in this blog entry is fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.

As previously, we stopped at

I didn't react gentlemanly enough to cover him up, but in fact, fanned the situation further and ended up with some steamy night. Since it was the 'dark room', it was well equipped: condoms, lubricant, tissue wipe, etc. By the time both of us are ready to drop back to the mattress and lie dead, the day broke and that's when we rested for real.

I back then, was a very innocent and green person, and worst is the society structured me in a way that I am the most honest and "integritised" human being that I ever know of as well, after all, I am serving NS in SPF. The kind of relationship that I was into was very not clear-cut and unspecified. Indescribable it was, my days are very routine, and the relationship is merely a "free-time" thing.

I can still recalled that the kind of time I was given is very scheduled: 12 hours in the day, reporting to the headquarter early in the day, meet up with my team mates and have breakfast together and start work, which usually ends around 6-7 in the evening; that starts another day of 12 hours in the evening the next day of shift and ends early in the morning, have breakfast with my team mates and rest; and the morning and the next day is my off day. That's my life, my days and my time then.

And for him, Victor spends his time in a altogether different way. Just to name a few, going Sentosa suntanning, meet up with his friends for catchup, and go pubs in the night. A very relaxed and at the same time unproductive manner. If I remembered correctly, he was into Multi-Level Marketing (or MLM for short) back then. Not to be biased, but quite an ambitious person with the kind of unproductive lifestyle was his cup of tea. Not very structured, not very regular kind of lifestyle. Almost like waiting to be fed in another words.

The only time that I would get to see him, have a really good chat and a close look at him, is merely when I go to club. Clubbing was my kind of night whenever I am not on shift. Whether on Friday or Saturday, it doesn't seem to be different to me. And also one thing about Victor is that he was working in this pub during the weekend and its called Tantric. A very pleasant place to drink if you enjoy the kind of Caucasian cruising scene and touchy hands that you don't even know where they might misplaced next, and of course seeing people of great generation gaps standing and sitting side by side drinking is the kind of scene I am referring to.

Well, if you ask me if I club to see him, I would answer no. But if you ask me if I am there to club, would I wish to see him, I would say yes. That was the kind of me back then. And the most enjoyable thing that I do then, was just to sit down and drink with Victor and talk. Seeing him drink is just something that usually catches my eyes (and many other things about him catches my attention). If you were to make assumptions that he was a social butterfly, I would most probably say he is.

Thinking back now, reminds me a lot of things about him. His smiles and the kind of jokes he usually crap about. His voice is practically music to my ears, even though he don't talk as much as I would. Face is not as handsome, or as charming, but to me, they are all enough to fall for. He is almost like my dream (not the dream guy, but the dream itself). Doesn't have much bad habits, but if I have to pick one, it will be the impractical side of him. He is definitely a dependent partner if he is with anyone, and a good lover if anyone were to ask.

But strange enough, that my memory served me too well, that it have totally lost track of how things have ended other then just three SMS. In a very day, on a very night, and I can clearly recall I was in Bugis area when I received his breakup SMS. I am able to recall I was more anger than sad, more disturbed than devastated. And immediately within 10days, I have rebounded back on my feet and mind and soul about him and start a life without him, but as friends. And now, that I dared to acknowledge that back then I was strong and simple. Life went on... TBC (To Be Continued)