Something about Me, Something about Gay and Something about Love VIII

Disclaimer: All Rights Reserved, avoid further reading if HOMOPHOBIC. Emphasis that there might have contents not suited for the eyes of 21 and below. The events depicted in this blog entry is fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.

As previously, we stopped at

Well, wasn't of anything like what you may thought of. Benji back then was as sticky and mushy little prick. I wasn't very into him back then, and neither was I with Benji already and well, thought of making moves on me, for instances, trying to lean towards me claiming that he is tired. Back then, I still believe in the word 'behave' very strictly. Especially with someone I just got to know for less then 24hours. Definitely it is a very big no-no to hanky panky in someone else's car of such depth.

But there onwards, a new form of friendship took place. It started off with me and Elvis to have lots of long talks and conversation through phone calls and MSN. Talking about nothing very specific, but everything under the sun. A way to get to know about one another better and usually like always, talking about the believe of love. Then again, one very specific phone call, we talked about Benji and I. We talked about the kind of stage Benji and I was at and what can be done, etc.

And out of nowhere, Elvis suggested that I should keep putting him on 'hold'. And well, telling Elvis that I have given Benji a period of one month before I decides to tell if Benji and I to be together or not. The part of one month is to have a longer period to look into things and people at their most true form. Something which I have come to realized from the period of my first love breakup until now. Is that, the most important thing in a person is his ultimate true self. How is that to be proven, almost unable, but you know that it is just you.

A little sharing of the 'ultimate true self' believe. Is this, you are who you are which you built on every since you are born with. You dun need people to teach you how to be you, but you just know. What the school teaches and parents teaching just builds on the true self as well. For example, if the true self have a great deal of patient, then you will never be tired of waiting. But if you don't have that in your true self, but just believing that you have, one fine day, your patience can easily run out of it and start to blame on whichever that makes you impatient. True self like this is something that usually never changes.

Anyway, back to the one month I spoke of earlier. Well, I wasn't very convinced by Elvis' suggestions though, but thought it is just as a form of joke to make Benji sounds silly and me sounds pranky. And one day, we thought of going to Sentosa for a walk, in the evening time with his car. And I was borned, and didn't visit Sentosa for a long long time, that I agreed to go as well. The weather was really very nice and windy. And we talked about a lot of things, a bit of NS, a bit of life and everything.

Never one moment was I bored or nothing to talk about. And back then, Sentosa was so beautiful without construction barriers and huge cranes and sanded roads. Just some quiet stretch of bridge connecting main island to Sentosa and looking at both sides are empty walk ways for pedestrians and sea. Tilting the heads up, you can see the cable cars and the clear dark sky with no visible stars, but lamp posts lighting the way of drivers.

And that would be the very first time I step foot onto the Sentosa at Tanjung beach. We walked side by side, looking down at where our feet lands and listening to the waves washing up the shore. The beach was empty! Quiet fills the gap of the waves and wind fills the gap of still air. The sand was a mix of moistened and coarse sand and soft and white sand and pieces of wood shacks everywhere big and small. And walking from one end of Tanjung beach to the other seems so leisure and free.

Elvis took the lead just as we walked and walked right to the most inner of Tanjung beach, and there was where you can see an end with bushes and big boulders stacked up to form the coast. And we went beyond the bushes, walking on shrubs and dirt paths. Don't think dirty now! We were at the very very end of the Tanjung beach.. and we seat down. The place was extremely calm and cool, with wind blows time to time and we talk as we look outwards into the sea.

I can remember very clearly, somehow, somewhat.. Elvis brought up a topic on his past relationship. Very sentimentally, things just started to pour out. He didn't in fact have a chance to really experience a real relationship. His dating life, people that claims like him, people that he did liked for, his life full of hopes and changes and dreams. So many many ambitions, I could almost feel that he was almost all drained just by thinking over all these one by one. The very position that we seated, I remember, was filled with stars and almost close to zero cargo ships.

Time passes us by so fast and we decided to head back to the car and go out for supper at Geylang. Seriosuly speaking, my very first time as well.. XD We went and had chinese dim sum, very yummy, and warming as well. And that all concludes for the first ever time we go out experience. It was all so sweet fonding memories.. After that supper, he drove me back and got back home, and back to his life where he least like to be. TBC (To Be Continued)...