Something about Me, Something about Gay and Something about Love VII

Disclaimer: All Rights Reserved, avoid further reading if HOMOPHOBIC. Emphasis that there might have contents not suited for the eyes of 21 and below. The events depicted in this blog entry is fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.

Back in 'Something about Me, Something about Gay and Something about Love IV', I forgot what was the exact scene and atmosphere it was. I forgot how my first relationship ended, but now I do. My memory came back to me and freshened up the feelings. Victor grew tired. You see, there seems to have a very big loop about a lot of information back then.

So, I shall explain a bit. Victor spends a lot of his time with pubs and clubs and friends be it weekdays or weekends. To be back then, it wasn't at all a problem, or rather, I wouldn't feel that there is a problem. But you see, gays can behave very different to different situations. For example, sometimes in a relationship, the partner seeks your attention when you are together, while other times, the partner doesn't so seek your attention.

In my case, Victor doesn't so seek my attention, even with me. Some what or another, maybe, he do seek a lot of others, friends as well as non-friends' attention. Which in a way, ended up as wind to the wave in the sea, and clouds to the rain in the sky. Rumors. Probably, a naive and straightforward person like me back then would have done as what would deem right, to ask and clarify.

Once, twice, clarifications done one after another. And just over clarifications, patience wore thinner than thin. Thinking that only his patience is the one that matters, he decided that it's time he put an end to it. He finally said it, 'I am tired', which eventually ended the relationship, as my previous posts, over SMSes. Well, I wasn't sad, more like upset then. I didn't mind a lot of things about him, for example, he got a girlfriend when we were together. And he worked as a waiter in Tantric which usually get the better of him.

Hmm.. Ah, now the picture looks so much more completed, probably covered 90% of everything. And you would ask where does the 10% goes to? Well, you see, it was not just over clarifications that do the job. Victor was beginning to show unfaithfulness and tainted symptoms the clarifications last made before he called it an end. An event that probably I could still remember as a form of "memory".

Victor was actually drunk one very night. After years of undrunkable drinking, getting drunk was still made happened. Maybe yes, maybe no, but what I was told was what he himself claimed to be yes. And thereafter, he was brought to someone else home and slept the night. Well, I personally wouldn't believe that nothing happen. Eventhough Victor claimed nothing. The truth is that the guy who brought him home and a common friend between I and Victor was present.

So, well, the truth is, confession is better than not and probably things can be cleared up and decide where do we head after that. But, well, probably Victor didn't thought of this as possible. Or probably choosing to lie would reserve some good impression in him and can at least still be friend after a breakup. The rest of the loop that I skipped are on purpose of not to fill it up, example, the showdown and confrontation of me and the common friend.

On the contrary, I suppose I owe everyone thing but just thanks, as the past would make my present happen no matter it be good or bad. So, how about we carry on from the previous that we left off?

Elvis understand that since Benji doesn't really stands firmly more than just being my boyfriend, he stands more chance. Utilising the most contemporary tactic, peer pressure, he planned his way to achievement. Outings are never just about me if you have guessed, its usually about us and this us is referring to my Family. Segregation of Family from me and him appears more obvious then ever, in every step to make him feeling uneasy and weird, unwelcome and not related. I felt it back then, and I can still remember the kind of staggering awkwardness, it is too much that I can't choose to ignore. But then again, that is altogether another story to be told.

Maybe I should paint a better picture of Elvis right from the start. Elvis, the only child brought up in an averagely-well to do family. Very hospitality trained and is definitely presentable in every aspect as a friend and in his field. He is the same age as me, in the same month as well, and in fact we are just days apart. Leo. Tall. Fair (as in not tanned). Slightly averagely-big size, neither can that be considered built nor muscled, neither chunky.

He drives a family car which was owned by his dad and behaves as what an average joe would behave, something like me. He serves his National Service as a Military Police Officer, just as I served mine as a Police Officer back then. How did we know each other is sort of fate and luck, a mix of both I think. Elvis saw me clubbing one fine night in Why Not without knowing who I was. And the day after, he sort of found my SGBoy (now called Trevvy) profile and privately messaged me.

Something like this, 'I saw you yesterday in Why Not, care to be friend?' or similar. And I finds no excuses not to know another friend, well, for the sake of friend only. So, I intiated saying the next time we meet up to go club together. And we did. Not every eventful, but definitely nice to remember. And after clubbing, if I wasn't wrong, around the time 3am, we decided to leave the club together and he decided to give me a lift. And we did.. with Benji's prescence already. The lift was an aweful 30-40 mins of silence..

Well, wasn't of anything like what you may thought of. Benji back then was as sticky and mushy little prick. I wasn't very into him back then, and neither was I with Benji already and well, thought of making moves on me, for instances, trying to lean towards me claiming that he is tired. Back then, I still believe in the word 'behave' very strictly. Especially with someone I just got to know for less then 24hours. Definitely it is a very big no-no to hanky panky in someone else's car of such depth. TBC (To Be Continued)...